How Rand saved me from paper towels.

            It’s incredible how much I’ve learned and noticed so far in this weeklong experiment of living deliberately. The lessons and ideas that have been a result of conscious awareness in the daily choices I’ve made have occurred on so many levels. Since my second post (only two days ago), in which I was having psychotic debates in the bathroom over accidentally using paper towels, I’ve made some breakthroughs in my dilemma. Part of the reason for this welcomed breakthrough has come from the readings we’ve been doing for our class and the other part has been from applying this material in my every day decisions. For me, this is what living deliberately is all about, and on some level, it must be exactly what Ayn Rand was talking about in her notion of what it means to be “rationally selfish.” But, I’m getting ahead of myself. First, let me update you (because I know you’re dying to know) on how my experiment is going so far and I’ll tie it all in afterwards.

            My daily transportation has taken quite a hit since the first and second day. At first, I thought it would be easy to take the Metro—just set the alarm clock 15 minutes early and make it happen, right? Nay. On the third day of the experiment I had to drive to school because I had to save as much time as possible so I could have enough time for homework since I had family coming into town. I felt extremely guilty—again—and was having mental debates as I drove to school. Instead of appreciating the weather with my window rolled down and listening to music, I was beating myself up over the short three-mile drive. Similar patterns have emerged in the other areas of my experiment.

            Compared to the area of transportation, my food choices have been easy. I believe this is largely because deciding what to eat has little to do with external occurrences.  As long as the legwork is done ahead of time (i.e. shopping on Sunday for locally grown vegetarian foods), I’m in the clear. This has been the case for my week so far and it has been a relief compared to nearly all the other areas. Perhaps the ease and simplicity of this area will cement my beliefs in changing the way I choose to eat. Additionally, because this has been so easy, I’ve noticed feeling good about eating healthy, choosing options that support responsible and sustainable practices, and feeling connected to my local environment. The documentary we watched this morning, The Economic of Happiness, confirmed this notion and has motivated me to continue this lifestyle change after our experiment is complete.

            Similarly, I’ve been really impressed with how little I’ve consumed during this week as a result of being aware of my actions. It’s been a huge help to literally see how little I’ve consumed by looking at the trashcan I’ve set aside for this experiment. My trashcan is only a quarter full and seeing this has helped remove the burden of my paper towel dilemma. Nonetheless, my shirt and backpack have continued to be my primary substitute for paper towels, but seeing how little I’m wasting has been a huge relief!

            As far as technology use goes, I’ve regressed a bit. I’ve caught myself on a few occasions checking my email or cell phone when I shouldn’t be. But how is this a negative thing? As long as I keep it within reason and am aware that I could be doing work instead of texting or writing emails, I can keep things within reason. Even my wife has jumped on board and instead of watching TV when she comes home; she has suggested we eat dinner on our roof and “just talk.” We’ve done this a couple times this week and we’ve both noticed how much better it is to unwind from the day over a beer, rather than watching TV.

            The “happiness spillover” from the fore mentioned areas continue to impact my positive action throughout my day. My outlook on life, my mood, and my experiences in my classes have all drastically improved—on their own. As a result, I’m more willing to ask others if they need help, which has led to me feeling more connected to the AU community. Instead of feeling like a visitor of the campus and my classes, I feel a part of the student community just by making a few rational decisions for the better. Again, this is where Rand steps in.

            Rand’s notion of “rational selfishness” has played an increasingly larger role in my overall happiness throughout this week. Perhaps it has been because it has been the most recent material we’ve discussed, but it has nonetheless aided me in overcoming my dilemmas. Instead of my guilt detracting from my happiness, I’ve felt extremely good about my decisions because I’ve made the first step to rationally engage with my actions. Rand suggests there are three stages in the process of Objectivism, which contributes to our lives having value, and therefore, happiness: reason (rational decisions) gives our lives purpose (and leads to productive work), which results in greater self-esteem (overall pride).

            I emphasize Rand’s notion of Objectivism because it has helped me to realize what all the other authors have been discussing (Beavan, Foer, and Singer to name a few). It’s been one thing to discuss and debate their ideas in class, but it is certainly another thing to see and feel how they apply to our own lives. So, instead of beating myself up over driving or accidentally reaching for paper towels, I’ve decided that as long as I’m actively practicing (or making my best attempt) to make rational decisions, this will continue to give value to my life. After all, isn’t this what living is all about?